Self-reflection

Retirement, part 1 : What actually happens when we retire?

Blog, Self-reflection|

People think many things about retirement, their own and others’. What does the word “retirement” mean? Commonly, we understand it as withdrawing from or ceasing to work, withdrawing from the productive structured life that has held us up – and held us back. Withdrawing from the life we’ve found ourselves in, usually for decades, by choice or accident (or a bit of both). It begs the question then, withdraw to what? Many people eagerly look forward to leaving the stresses and constraints of their job behind. They’ve carefully planned for financial stability to continue to lead the life to which [...]

Accommodation, Part 2

Self-reflection|

In my previous blog, I wrote about the importance of accommodation to any relationship, but that there are risks to being too accommodating. I also underlined that the reciprocity of accommodation is crucial. In Part 2, I offer advice about the importance of objecting and how to state that objection without blaming and in an effective way. The importance of objecting It is helpful to state an objection when one feels they are being too accommodating. The importance of objecting is to share your thoughts and feelings with the other person, and perhaps, to take it farther and set limits [...]

Accommodation, Part 1

Self-reflection|

In my writing group recently, I mentioned that I wanted to write about accommodation. One of our members asked what I meant, so I figured it would be a good idea to define the term I am using. According to Merriam Webster, accommodation is “the act of accommodating someone or something; the state of being accommodated; adaptation, adjustment,” which includes a sense of negotiation or compromise. It is often related to being considerate and/or agreeable, perhaps fed by generosity or fear of being rejected (or both). There is a fine line between accommodating to be agreeable and being a container [...]

Emerging from confinement

Self-reflection|

But getting back to the release from confinement: how do we take these first steps? For some, it’s simply a matter of dropping these newly acquired habits (but don’t dump that mask just yet and don’t ever give up washing your hands, although that hand-sanitizer smells awful!). For others, it is relearning even the smallest things.

Living in the Paradox of the Unknown

Self-reflection|

We are living through something surreal, parallel worlds: one in which nothing is happening, most of it via the ethernet. One in which there is real news, skewed news and utterly fake news. The only way out is through. My humanity is seeking touch, intimacy, security. How is your humanity weathering this storm?

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