The “What” and “How” of Loving Kindness

Change of mindset|

We hear a lot about self-care and loving-kindness, often used interchangeably, these days. Self-care has become big business as we are guided (or pushed) to purchase products and services that will offer us this nirvana of, dare I say it?, self-realisation. But is that what loving-kindness looks like when we direct it toward ourselves? I think not!

Reflecting Change Talk

Improving our practice|

Key elements to successfully practicing Motivational Interviewing (MI) are being able to judge what change talk intensity to use with your clients, to further their commitment for change. Forward-moving reflections can also be helpful to guide your client towards change talk, when they are generating mostly sustain talk.

Right Effort

Improving our practice|

Buddhists speak of “right effort” in their Noble Eight-fold path; the Western work ethic seems to go in a different direction. Which one brings more happiness? What is the “Right effort” in your practice?

To encourage change, try reflections instead of questions

Improving our practice|

I think about being efficient and effective in my therapeutic relationship, knowing that the client benefits greatly from a solid therapeutic relationship, and it is my job as a practitioner to build it. When someone is talking to me about their issues, I use “reflections”, usually complex ones, instead of questions. They are much more effective at building a strong therapeutic relationship and therefore, encouraging change.

Living in the Paradox of the Unknown


We are living through something surreal, parallel worlds: one in which nothing is happening, most of it via the ethernet. One in which there is real news, skewed news and utterly fake news. The only way out is through. My humanity is seeking touch, intimacy, security. How is your humanity weathering this storm?

The Benefits of Silence

Improving our practice|

For people who talk for a living, four days of silence at a retreat is an interesting contrast and frankly, for me, a welcome relief. Whatever advice or wisdom we encounter, so often shared with our clients, is turned inwards, to nourish ourselves.

This Burden

Change of mindset|

This is another poem I wrote about the weight and fatigue of surviving life’s difficulties, and how just holding someone’s burden for a moment can make a huge difference to them.

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